Getting There or Getting First

One of the worse things I can think of, is the cometition against others or against ourselves to be first. Take morning drivers, who whoom past you in their cars doing all sorts to really stupid stunts rushing to wherever they go, as if you'd get a price for making a 30 minute ride in 5 minutes. Others push this envelope with senseless life markers such as "make your first million before you're 30" or "become the youngest PhD", "become the youngest CEO of the company", the first in the block building a bigger house, the first of the family in getting a brand new car, the first among your friends in getting married or having kids, and so on.

This drive to kind of be the first or get it at the first attempt folds over on us, as we demand irrational levels of success and perfection from us. You make a plan and you expect it - against any rational reasoning - to work out either perfectly or by some miraculous intervention, far better than expected. Often our expectations are as irrational as if we would have never drawn in our lives, we don't know the first thing about drawing and right then we expect that by putting pencil to paper we can out do the most exceptional and talented artists in the world. This sort of attitude is a great way to put us in the way of deception, because for someone who hasn't made something in... ever, getting it perfect the first time is nearly impossible.

It's wonderful to have dreams and have plans for whatever. It's awesome to do thing making sure you are doing your best, but that doesn't mean that your best must be "dream factory" perfect. It means that you must be aware of your limitations, open your eyes real wide and look at what you do, pay close attention to the mistakes you make and learn from them. Then fail or not, review your steps, and learn both from your success as well as from your mistakes. If you fail at first, don't get discouraged! Stop, look closely at what you did wrong, figure out a way to correct it, and go at it again.

You don't have to be first, and you don't have to be perfect, and you know something? when you are following a dream you have plenty of room to miss and try again, so use them all!

Also, remember the Law of the Street: you might rush, you might make dangerous moves and stupid stunts, and none of those would get you to your destination faster or better, because we all get caught in the same red lights and the same traffic jams. I know, I'm a slowpoke driver, and I have seen the Fast & Furious that rushed ahead of me before a truck, get stuck and shamefully left behind by my grandpa-style driving. Rushing can get your neck broken, while careful, calm advancing gets you there much safer, much happier and... alive.