I had a very upsetting nightmare where I spent a whole day quarreling with my boyfriend because of the mess he kept doing everywhere he went, and instead of fixing things and cleaning up his mess, he constantly came up with excuses about why things were the way they were. When I woke up, I smiled relieved that it was only a dream, and there was no pile of stuff left every step of the way in the most inconvenient and unpleasant manner. I went to the bathroom, washed my hair and was happy. A nice warm shower always makes me happy. ^_^ Then I came out of the bathroom and my boyfriend was engaged in the other bathroom running the water, while the bed was undone, his computer was left on the table - as I told him not to do it, because a coffee table, in the middle of a living room isn't the place to park an unused laptop, open and with the cables spread all around like ivy - and the makings of a breakfast and unwashed dishes around the place. I've got upset, and told him that sure he made dreams come true, and told him about my dream, and chewed him out for solid three hours in a row. Yes, when I get upset, I'm really unpretty. Then again, it's a family thing, look at my Grandpa! And all for a dream, you'd say? No, all for waking up and finding yourself in a real life continuation of a nightmare. Wouldn't you do the same?
We had plenty of stuff to do, like move more stuff to our apartment, both from here (now here we've only the worth of three small suitcases! That's quite an accomplisment for me!) and from my godmother's place. By then we were quarreling some here and there, but lightly (as I use to, because I believe in instant barking, when you love someone, instead of holding up and exploding some day), and lots of I love you's, as we use to, all the time. Personally, if you ask me, I believe that's the secret of our relationship is exactly this: we say what's wrong when it's wrong. We don't hold it back, nor we fake our feelings about it. We are open. and we say "I love you" plenty too! ^_^
Set to our goal, and with the fresh and beautiful feeling that our home is taking shape, we drove to our apartment with some stuff from our current place. The day was bright and so crispy! Shiny and clear and marvelous, and there, when the road took us running next to the Danube, I couldn't but stare in awe at how truly blue the river looked. I've never been a fan of blue, but this blue was there and was filling my eyes with the most wonderful whispers of Mother Nature. It was there, live and flowing, unaltered, framed by civilization, bricks of the past and the present, pushing into its waters, and yet Mother Nature had found her way to bring out the Danube's legendary beauty, the shine and azure that inspired from old and created one of the most remarkabled valses I've heard. Once again God, in His Infinite Wisdom, choose a river in this occasion, to tell the world that man can plan and create and do as he pleases, but not the biggest building or the most elaborated bridge, or the longest harbor can ever come into His plans, because His designs are Divine and unalterable.
The visit to my godmother was troublesome. After she vehemently said she didn't want us living there, now she was sad and claimed we have abandoned her, we never visit here and were never there to help her. Desperate and terribly sad, she insisted she needed protection from her neighbours, who claim to be connected both with the Ucranian maffia and the police, scaring the poor lady entirely out of her money. I promised to help her, like I've done before, but this time I finally got to see the numbers of her expenses and her debts. In a simple, sad little grey notebook, I notice how her mind is failing her, noting things with no order, often no amount, no more date than the month on the top, and filling the pages with notes about how much she's supposed to owe other people, though there's no noting about why or how does she come to that number.
Initially it seems orderly, but as I started entering the numbers in an Excel file, I noticed that not only the numbers don't add up, but neither the details seem right, often with over $300 in alleged amenity bills. I'll see what can I do to help her with her situation, but the more time I spend with her, the more I'm sure that she souldn't be making decisions for herself about herself, but should be urgently put under professional supervision. It's sad because she's still lively and she's physically fine, but her mind is very, very much gone.
This time around, in an effort to get things done at my godmother's with the packing and moving, I went up to the house and took the reigns of the packing myself, paying no attention to what my boyfriend said, who countinued packing with a list in hand almost as if he were shopping, and wasting precious time and turning around boxes already packed and looking for what he needed. I concentrated in this case on the kitchen, where I took two boxes and quickly started putting in one the important things that needed to be moved at once with us, and in the other the things that could wait because I would still make decisions about it - like will I keep it or give it away to goodwill or something. In a matter of an 30 minutes to one hour I had goned through the entire place, and had even cleaned out the table which was littered with bills and envelops of my boyfriend, that laid around aimlessly, placed there "so they are in full view so he can take care of them". Like that's ever going to happen. I'm totally going to get him a wire basket where he can dump all his "must be where I can see them" stuff an out of the rest of the orderly and neat place I intend to keep.
From there we went home and on the way we discussed my godmother. Sometimes I have a softspot for her and would think about moving in with her and help her get around - and I know my boyfriend's soft spot is bigger and he really wants to be around and help her - BUT she's unreliable, and though she wants help today, tomorrow she decides we are in her way. Today she says her neighbours are threatening her and taking away her money, and tomorrrow they are her friends, care for her and she gives them money because they need it more than she does.
Things with her are murky, but as today the Danube was blue inspite of men and their inventions, I hope to believe that the skies will be clear and happy with her one day too.
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