How About You Do Something About It

It seems there's an inmutable fact of life, that there are people who just like to complain. They have a terrible boss, they have annoying coworkers, their relatives/partners don't understand them, they are in a relationship that lacks respect, they have poor health, nobody helps them, they can't get a decent job, their income isn't enough... you name it. You, I and everybody else know at least one such person, and though there are cases where the bitching and complaining is entirely justified, there are cases where it's not because the person dishing the bitching could do something about it.

The people who bitch with reason are people who are in a difficult situation, but are actively looking for a way out of it, either by quiting the situation (be it job, relationship, or moving away from the pain-in-the-ass relative), or if that's not an option (say there's no other job, or no other job as good as that, or the unbearable relative turns our to be a child or a sick parent), then they are looking for ways to work around the unpleasantries and diminish their effect. Your boss is stupid, your coworkers are morons or what you do is not fulfilling you, BUT the company you work in is great? Well, you can either decide to quit altogether, look for a position in another department, OR work out ways to counter the negativity, such as avoid your coworkers if they are stupid and always contact your boss for everything, or avoid your boss by getting in contact with him only thought e-mail and his secretary, and then keep close contact with this boss, or seek for new ways to make your job more exciting (nothing ilegal, though!). And if non of these are viable, then work on yourself, so you can ignore the things that bother you, or work around them, and then give yourself the needed place to unload the unpleasentries in a civilized manner. Say you meet with friendds, or join a yoga class or something.

If family is unpleasant, well, you can always find ways to keep less and less in contact with them, and when strictly needed, you can always find ways to make it last the least posible amount of time.

So, you see, there are ways, and healthy people can and do find these ways. They complain to blow off some of the steam, but they don't seek to burden others with their problems, have others solve the problem for them. They just don't. However there's people out there who are in a crappy job - work with a crappy boss, or have unbearable coworkers that make their lif hell, or are exploited and paid poorly -  or have a really bad relationship - the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse cheats on them, or bully them, or one of their parents constantly belittles them and make them feel like the worse type of scum on the planet, or a sibling costantly steal their things or expect them to solve the messes of their lives, or an aunt or grandparent constantly harrass them with why they don't do things the way it was done 80 years ago... - and all that is nice and fine, and you know it's a bitch to have all that, but these are things that have a solution: you can either face them and solve them, or quit the situation, or maybe just take distance from it. But this kind of people rather complain.

They always use terms like "this is going to be the last time" and "now it's for real" or "I have dignity" and "I should be treated with respect", and maybe even things like "they always do this" or "well, it's not like the last time". I'm one to tell them in their face that we are no longer buying that if "now's for real", they should get real, because now's just for show, just like last time. And this isn't the last time, because last time was the last time, and the time before that too, and yet they continue in the same shit. And if they always do this, why are you so upset? Shouldn't you just see it coming? Shouldn't you be used to it? I'd say that if you keep in this after "they always do this" then you must like it, otherwise no sane person would take it. 

As for "it wasn't the same as last time"... give us a break! It's completely irrelevant the detail of it, when what happens is basically the same thing: you were offended, you were abused, you were disrespected one way or the other, so does it really matter how were you disrespected this time around or should you rather concentrate on the fact that you were disrespected. Yes, it was the same as last time, and it's becoming a tedious cycle.

Time and again this people bitch like it's the end of the world and they want our attention for it. They come up with new sicknesses, or new people mistreating them, or new world threatening menaces, and all to get attention. Yes, it all goes just to get attention. Sure, they call it "asking for support" and some "consideration", but really? When it happens almost in a seasonal fashion? some people just need to live in a continual drama, with people around them fixing the mess they created, and thing is that fixing it once won't solve the problem, because they'll keep messing it up and messing it up until you've got fed up and leave them, and then you'll give them yet another reason to complain and play the victim.

So what to do? Ignore them. Plain and simple. If you notice that no matter how much hadve you tried to help them, they keep fucking it up, or when you suggest a solution for whatever they are currently bitching, they come up with excuses about why that's not good, then leave it like that. It's not your problem, and probably isn't even their real problem. They just want to complain. So close up, show them that you are not an audience for their cheap drama, and continue living happily ever after.