Was that question a little bit of a shock? Well, believe it or not, more people than you would imagine, wake up everyday with an answer to that question, and that answer is not "no, I would rather not be miserable today". How many of us wake up in the morning and start the day thinking about negative things that predispose us for the rest of the day to see everything in a bleak light? "Gara go to work and see the faces of these and those I dislike so much", "another day dealing with the same crap", "yesterday's problems are still unsolved and I probably won't solve them today". You may wake up sleepy, tired and annoyed at having to get up and get ready for work when you could continue sleeping - I know I do all the time! - and maybe the "Fuck... it's morning again" thought is hard to chase away from your mind, but this doesn't have to condition the rest of your day. However, you can choose to have a wonderful day everyday. It's your day, it's your life, and yes, you can choose to let others or yourself fuck it up for you, or would you rather make it a nice, happy day.
You could start your day with a "Fuck, not morning already!", and continue with a "bed is so nice", which is a happy thought, even as you try to get away from it to get your day going, but takes your from a negative though ("fucking morning had to come so early") to a really happy, positive one ("bed is so good, warm, nice and fluffy, and my sleep was so delicious!"); or you can take consciously an empowering turn to it. "Well Morning, I'll beat you today! Inspite of waking up early, I'll have a great day!". And there are so many things you can do in the very morning to start your day with the right kick. Treat yourself with something you like for breakfast, put your favorite music while you drive, or if you commute, sleep a little more if you can on your way to the office. If you can't, amuse yourself, purposefully looking for beautiful things on the way to the office. Maybe take two seconds to smell the flowers of a garden, touch a tree, look at a nice dog or cat on the street, watch the sky, find a fun looking cloud...
How about you prepare from the day before for the morning? Make yourself a special breakfast bag, Just pack in the things you like, or leave at the office, in a drawer your favorite candy or drink, or your favorite parfume, a vase with flowers... anything that pleases you and could make you smile.
Our day's first decisions are important, but so are the decisions we take through the rest of the day. It's okay if you have negative thoughts, don't repress them, but look actively also for the positive counterparts, or just a positive thought as well. Maybe there comes the annoying neighbour lady who constantly complains about your pet, or the Jehova Witnesses cornered you and will give you the annoying converting speech regardless that you swear to them that you are Christian, are late, so please let you go. Maybe there goes again your old fashioned relative bugging you about why are you not married, why don't you have children or why are you "living in sin", why do you do this and this and that and "reminding you" how God is supposed to hate and go postal on people like you and how He hates you above everybody else (yeah right!) because just by being who you are and how God saw fit to make you, you are somehow worse than Hitler and Charles Manson balled up into one. Maybe, someone at home decided to leave again all chores on your neck, or bug you about money and how you don't help, and how you are this and this and that. Maybe... maybe things happen that piss you off, and that's okay. Are you going to let these fuck up your day?
How about your car decided to take the day off and didn't tell you in advance? How about your bus just left you behind and you'll get late? Maybe you forgot your homework at home, or someone you were depending on failed you, or an unexpected bill landed on your lap... you name it. Does it upset you? It's okay, be upset! Bitch! Vent! And then let it go. Sure, it might be hard, nobody said it was easy, but it's up to you to make it easier or harder than it needs to be. Can you solve the situation? Can you solve it in a way that makes you happier? Then solve it. You can't or the proposed solution doesn't make you happier, but makes you more miserable? Then fuck it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to (except going to school or work). Whatever you do, wherever you are, you always have to options: do it or not.
Today at mass, as part of the usual praying something caught me. In the prayer it was said basically that we turn to ask God's forgiveness and salvation because we have no other choice. That's not true. We have another choice and that choice is to go on living giving a fuck about whether God forgives us and saves us. Yes, there are consequences, but that's a choice we have. In the freedom of choosing - knowing we could very well give a fuck about God's forgiveness and salvation, choosing this forgiveness and this salvation makes it all the more valuable, as by free will and independent thinking we choose, and not mindlessly like a herd trapped by the fence, accepting forgiveness and salvation but actually giving a fuck to it because "it's the only path". In this sense, how our day is spent is also a matter of two questions: do you choose to be happy or do you choose to be miserable? And with free will we choose one of these ways.
Yes, negative things do affect us, and it's okay. We are not inmune to negativity, but it's up to us to choose if we want all that negativity to stick and determinate the rest of your day and on, or whether we are willing to defeat it and go back to the positive side of life. Are you willing to let other people's negative approaches and actions weight more on you that their positive actions? Would you give more importance to one insult or negative criticism than to a compliment or a positive comment? And why would you do that? Would you rather have a miserable day or a good day?
The actions are simple, and often all they need is a little bit of will. Will to be happy, will to take over our lives and will to realize that there's no need for us to be the center of attention of others to be validated. Though people usually are more attracted to the disgrace of others than to their happiness, being happy and unnoticed is far better than being miserable and notorious about it.
Having a positive attitude won't save you from hearbreak, from sadness, from depression, anger or disappointment, but when life dishes out some of that, a positive attitude gives you all you need to bounce back faster. It gives you the tools to understand that these are a natural part of your life, that these feelings make you human, but are not there to rule your days.
Meditate, express yourself, explore yourself and allow yourself to be the first person everyday in making you happy. So the next morning you could say to yourself "Good Morning! How happy do you want to be today (after coffee)?" ^_^
No comments:
Post a Comment