Meditation is a fabulous, fabulous thing. Even if you are not a yogi, if you haven't been trained, if you have no experience at all, or your mind is like Time Square and never rests, meditation is still a fabulous thing.
My day yesterday can't be labled as anything other than atrocious. It was a horrible day. At one point I even felt my lungs tighten up and give up breathing, such was the level of stress, but what's worse of all, it was all stress induced by proper organization and actually knowing what's going on. So yes, it was a typical case of rush hour while still trying to figure out what's really what we are doing and what should we be doing. Once again, my life was saved by my Echo pen, however, as I went home - by foot, crossing a very, very bad part of the city, because nobody had the decency of giving me a ride at least to a civilized part of town, thank you very much, I felt like crying. Do you know the feeling? When the only thing you want to do is just sit down and cry like a baby, and hope your Mom or your Dad or a good friend is around and that person would embrace you and hold you and rock you a little and tell you not to cry because everything is going to be alright? Yeah, that type of crying.
On my way home I started thinking about escaping. I had to get out of that situation any way possible. So where can I go? I mentally listed all my possible contacts, and promised myself that I would actively follow every single path, every single lead, every single chance until this situation changes because I won't tolerate much more of this. I SO know that Arjen is nodding her head right now!
I was still very emotional as I got home, so after I put down my bag and fed the cats, went outside and sat to meditate. I kind of did it in a ritualistic way, with a loose circle casting and corner calling and God inviting, in all His forms which came to my soul, and then as I meditated, the issues came to my mind again, but they didn't hurt me. Suddenly I saw myself as a person with one foot in a swamp or quick sands and one on dry land and I asked myself: "Why are you so concentrated on the foot in the swamp, when your other foot is fine?"
The message was wonderful: yes, just because things aren't working on one end od the scope, it doesn't mean that life is over. You can lean on the parts of your life that are safe and sound, wonderful and successful, and get energy from then to pull yourself out of trouble. My problem isn't with my foot, but where it is, so let's move it!